Royai Week 2017
by ssadropout
Summary: I only managed to write three short fics for Royai Week 2017. I haven't been feeling well, so I am just now getting them up here. For Day 1- Chess- "A Royai Gambit" - Roy plays a surprising move. For Day 4- Promise- "Yes, His Name is Maes". It's hard to say who is babbling more. For Day 5- Letters- "Under Her Spell". She can usually get him to behave. Mentions of genitals & drugs.
1. Chapter 1

Day 1- Chess- The Royai Gambit?

Fuhrer Grumman pulled out the chess set and waved for Roy to set the board up. It had been nearly six months since they had played. Roy and his team had been in Ishval for the reconstruction, and Roy knew that this would not just be a routine game. He had kept Grumman current on the projects and politics, but there were things that did not come across in reports. The Fuhrer seemed to have an excited look in his eyes. Roy, who knew the old man well, found it to be quite unsettling. When they played chess, the strategies were not just for the game.

The two men each made a couple of conservative moves before Grumman began to talk. "Do you know much about the origins of the game, Roy-Boy?"

Roy froze. _Oh, shit! He's never called me that before. That means that he's been in cahoots with Aunt Chris. Somehow, it always disturbs me that those two are so chummy. Is he really worried about something that I've done? Not done?_ "Uh, no I don't, Sir. I was always most concerned with strategy. Not that it has helped me against you. Sir." Roy grinned.

"I've got some old books that you could read about the countries south of Xing. Amestris- as you well know, has always paid great attention to its border countries but has all but ignored any place that would be difficult to conquer or was far enough away to be of no consequence. We even ignored Xing, since it was beyond the desert, and Xing is a huge and rich country. Believe me when I say that _they_ knew about Xing and the countries south of it," Grumman continued. "Anyway, no one from Amestris has written any account of their travels south of Xing in the past 500 years or so, but I have two early books from the late 1300s. They are mostly accounts of mathematics, military tactics, and chess. Chess was invented in a country called Salamin.

"The military tactics were fascinating. They used drugs to give soldiers strength, concentration, and endurance. And even blood thirst."

It was enough to distract Roy, "I believe that my Master had mentioned texts from Salamin. The concept of zero was also created there. He had never seen the texts, but his master had told him that some people believed that alchemy was invented there, too. We think that we got it from Xerxes, but it may not have originated in Xerxes. Hohenheim might have known." Roy knew that Grumman knew who his master was. Well, the game was never confined only to the board, but the Hawkeye family, while often on the old man's agenda, was probably not part of today's game,

"It's interesting how we both came to be soldiers," Grumman posited. You are a scientist soldier. Now that you are working in Ishval, you are becoming a bit of a statesman, but you still initially look at things in a scientific way. I'm still the warrior with my eyes on the prize."

He had checkmated Mustang. His glee brightened like the sun at Mustang's sigh.

"But I do have another reason why I brought you here today..."

"Ishval, Sir?"

"Yes. You haven't put anything about this critical issue in any of your reports. Really, what I want to know is... when are you going to marry my granddaughter?"

The move came to Roy like a bolt of lightening. "Why don't you ask your granddaughter when will she marry me, Sir?" He couldn't keep a smirk form his mouth.

"I'd have to smoke some of that Salamin drug before I ever do that."


	2. Chapter 2

Day 4- Promise- Yes, His Name is Maes

In a more perfect FMA world, there would be a Royai marriage and at least one Royai baby. Amirite?

It was up to him to quiet the wails. Riza was busy in the kitchen and had been with the baby all day.

"Hello, my little man. Why are you singing the sad song of your people? It's not as cool as my Flame Alchemist rap. Shhh." Roy leaned over the crib and gently drew his son into his arms, swaying a bit. The cries gradually faded, replaced by the tap of claws on the floor.

"Oh, look. Here comes your big brother. Be glad that he came first, or you might have been named _Black Hayate._ How was your day, son?"

"Gleeb roorsh."

"That's good to hear, buddy. That's because you have such a great mother. I'll bet she played with you and rocked you and sang to you and tickled you. Hee hee. I know your mother's special tickle places, but those and flame alchemy will be things I never share with you. My day at work was boring, but I'll even do paperwork to make the world better for you. Yes! Mommy and I promised ourselves that kids like you will never have to do horrible things like we were forced to do. Maybe you won't even have to do paperwork!"

Roy sighed. "Your mother and I did some horrible things." He kissed the baby's head and placed him onto the changing table.

The baby squeaked.

"I hope that you can try to forgive us when you understand. We have spent the rest of our lives making up for it. Not that we ever can make up for it."

"Da Da Da Da Da."

The sweet bright sound brought Roy back to his good mood. "That's right, my little man. It's me- your daddy. Mommy is downstairs cooking dinner, so I'm on pee and poop patrol. How's that diaper of yours?"

"Da Da Da. Blurf. Zzzhh."

"I was afraid of that. I love you infinity, but you'd be so much more fun if you weren't so high maintenance." Roy arranged his supplies as if he were performing alchemy. He wished! He had imagined various poop and pee transmutations, but nothing seemed right. There were ways to transmute moisture and dirt out of cloth, but they were for different kinds of dirt and moisture. Besides Riza had given him _that look_ when he mentioned that he was thinking about it. One of the reasons that he loved her was that he was afraid of her.

Roy put the dirty diaper aside, cleaned his son up, and put on a new diaper. "Ta da! That's much better. Right? I'm glad that you didn't take this opportunity to demonstrate that you have your mother's aim."

He placed the baby back in the crib and rinsed the dirty diaper out in the toilet. After washing his hands, he returned and studied his son. "Until you came along, the most important things to us were our vows to work to make Amestris and the world better. You, my little man, are the one thing more important to us than that." He leaned over, slid the baby's shirt up and blew a gentle raspberry on the baby's tummy.

"Mmpf. Ma Ma Ma Ma."

"Mmm. Dinner does smell good, my little man, but I'm afraid that it's not for you.

Mommy said that you already ate and drank."

"Bbbbbbbb."

"Hey! Bring that up with your mother, not me. That's her area."

"Ma Ma Ma Ma."

"You got it, son!"

"Raaaaag."

"I know. So, listen. It's time for you to go to sleep. That's right. No snap. No spark. Time to sleep in the diggy diggy dark. I love you, my little man." He kissed his son's forehead.

When Roy went to turn off the light, he noticed Riza in the doorway. "How long have you been there?"

"Just since the raspberry."

"I'm a pretty good father, huh?"

She put her arm around him and said, "Other than blaming me for his diet, yes, Roy, you're a wonderful father. However, do realize that when you call your son _my little man_ , you're calling him the same thing that you call your penis?"


	3. Chapter 3

Day 5- Letters- Under Her Spell

Hawkeye had decided to eat lunch with the team, and she had warned him that he was to do paperwork until she brought him back _Today's Special:_ quiche. He had totally meant to work- to earn his treat. (Sometimes, he thought that she treated him like she did Hayate.) He had diligently read and signed for at least seven minutes when the idea invaded his brain and conquered his good intentions. His subconsciousness could always find a way to avoid paperwork. It must be some hard-wired survival tactic. He had at least 20 minutes until his subordinates returned. He swept his work off of his desk and piled it next to his chair. He used the paper cutter to chop a couple of sheets of paper into squares and began writing one letter on each square in his clear alchemist's printing. 21 letters on 21 squares of paper. _R, I, Z, A, H_...

Shifting the letters around to spell words, he pulled out another blank sheet and began a list:

 _rhyme_

 _hair_

 _roam_

 _task_

 _zig_

 _zag_

 _rein_

The list grew longer and longer, and then he was ready for the meat of his project. Another sheet of paper was needed.

"I am doing paper work, ha ha," he muttered to himself. He began to write:

 _no rush work- okay to tarry_

 _I hate rain- sun great_

 _riza is amazing_

He was so focused that he didn't hear the knock, but he did hear the door open. He swept the little squares into his top drawer, but he didn't have time to hide the sheets of paper. He looked up guiltily. She had two pieces of quiche and two very angry eyes.

"What are you doing, Sir? It's clearly _not_ your priority paper work." She used her scary voice. He was too rattled to come up with a story.

"I'm making words and sentences out of the letters in our names. Each word can only use the 21 letters in our combined names, but we can use as many words as we want in the sentences."

" _We_ , Sir?"

He thought that maybe he'd detected a spark of interest there. "See?" He pointed to the last sentence he had written.

"That's rather clever that you found the word _Riza_ in our names." He knew that she was in. She hip-checked his chair to the right and sat on the arm.

Riza- _you must work_

Roy _\- no nag great man_

Riza _\- task now_

Roy _\- you get no minty mouth kis_

Riza _\- tragic_

She lightly- well, not so lightly- punched his arm. "Not to mention that that was cheating, Colonel,"

Roy- _want to eat_

Riza- _i get gun_

Roy- _i want you_

Riza, after a long pause- _at night work now_

"Promise?"

"If you finish your paperwork by 5:00. I don't want to stay here late today."

"Okay. You win, Lieutenant."

Riza- _yes i win_

Thank you so much for reading. Take care!


End file.
